“The
Search For Significance –
Seeing
your true worth through God's eyes”
Robert
S. McGee
Chapter 6 – God's Answer for the
Approval Addict: Reconciliation
- Have you given up on experiencing God's complete acceptance?
- Can God accept a person who is unacceptable because of sin, or does He have to make that person completely acceptable (through salvation) first?
- Is Christ's payment sufficient to keep you acceptable to God for the rest of your life and beyond?
- The approval addict fears rejection
- God's solution to the fear of rejection is based on Christ's payment for our sins
- Through this payment we receive forgiveness, reconciliation and total acceptance
- Reconciliation means that enemies have now become friends
- Col 1:21-22
- Pam – committed adultery – confessed her sin to God and to her husband and had been forgiven
- Yet she still could not forgive herself
- This is because she was looking at her performance
- But God doesn't base his love and acceptance on our performance
- God forgives all our sin
- Col 2:13-15 – our sins are nailed to Jesus' cross
- Satan's power to condemn us for sin has been taken away
- Our acceptance in Christ is life-changing
- It is not only a ticket to heaven, but the start of a new relationship with God
- Justification is the teaching that explains the judicial facts of our forgiveness and righteousness in Christ
- Reconciliation explains the relational aspect of our salvation
- Romans 8:38-39
- We are sealed in that relationship
- Eph 1:13-14
- What happens to our transgressions? - Ps 103:12
- Why was Christ's blood shed? - Matt 26:28
- What is God's promise? - John 3:16
- What is the promise to one who knows and believes? - John 5:24
- What do His sheep have? Will they perish? - John 10:27-28
- Of what did the prophets bear witness? - Acts 10:43
- What does belief do? - Acts 13:39
- By what are we justified? - Rom 3:23-24
- Who is blessed? - Romans 4:7
- Through what are we reconciled? - Rom 5:10
- Describe our relationship with God – Rom 8:15
- Who can accuse us? - Rom 8:33
- Of what is Paul convinced – Rom 8:38-39
- Describe who we are in Christ – 2 Cor 5:17, 19, 21
- How are we justified? What part do works play in justification? - Gal 2:16
- On what basis did Abraham receive righteousness? - Gal 3:6
- According to what do we receive forgiveness? - Eph 1:7
- What would you have to do to receive forgiveness? - Heb 9:22
- After forgiveness, what is to be our sacrifice for sin? - Heb 10:18
- Who is the perfector of our faith? - Heb 12:2
- Of what is Peter convinced? - 1 Pet 1:3-4
- These verses show that we completely acceptable, and thjis is not based on our performance
- When born again, our fleshly thought life still needs to be brought into alignment with our new reality
- It may be painful to change the basis of our self-worth, but it will lead to true freedom and maturity in Christ
- Our lives mean much more than what success or approval or our performance can bring
- We can do nothing to add to Jesus' free gift of salvation
- If we base our self-worth on others' approval, we are really saying our abuility to please others is of greater value than Christ's sacrifice
- God intended for parents to model His character to our children
- We grew up in family situations where this was expressed to varying extents
- Some may have grown up in relatively healthy homes, while others may have experienced neglect, condemnation, or the deeper wounds of sexual abuse, physical abuse or abandonment
- The greater the degree of dysfunction (poor modeling), the greater the potential for emotional, spiritual and relational wounds, and the harder it is to accept God's characteristics in our lives
- We need new models – loving Christian friends who model God's love and grace
- This may be through a small group or Bible study
- God often shows us his love and affirmation through our relationships with others.
- This helps us to get to know Him better
- Healthy relationships are turned oputward rather than inward, encourage individuality rather than conformity, independence rather than emotional dependence
- They point towards the Lord and pleasing him rather than toward pleasing one another
- Emotionally dependent relationsips:
- - frequent jealousy, possessiveness, exclusivity, others are a threatr
- - prefers to spend time alone with this friend, and becomes frustrated when this doesn't happen
- - becomes irrationally angry or depressed when the other withdraws slightly
- - loses interestr in other friendships
- - fantasizing about this person
- - preoccupied by their appearance, personality, problems, interests
- - unwilling to make plans that do not include this person
- - unwilling to see the other's faults realistically
- - becomes defensive about the relationship
- - displays physical affection beyond what is appropriate for a friendship
- - feels free to “speak for” the other
- exhibits intimacy that makes others uncomfortable
- My Father is very patient and kind
- My Father is not envious, never boastful
- My Father is not arrogant
- My Father is never rude, nor is he self-seeking
- My Father is not quick to take offense
- My Father keeps no score of wrongs
- My Father does not gloat over my sins
- My Father knows no end to his trust
- My Father is always hopeful and patient
Discussion Questions
- Define reconciliation
- What is wrong with saying, Thak you Lord, for accepting me when I am so unacceptable?
- Whom does the Father love more, Jesus Christ, or you? - John 17:19-26, 20:17
- Think about an instance of rejection. How would believing the truth have changed your response?
