Saturday, January 25, 2014

P2-SFS6 - God's Answer for the Approval Addict: Reconciliation

The Search For Significance –
Seeing your true worth through God's eyes”
Robert S. McGee

Chapter 6 – God's Answer for the Approval Addict: Reconciliation

  • Have you given up on experiencing God's complete acceptance?
  • Can God accept a person who is unacceptable because of sin, or does He have to make that person completely acceptable (through salvation) first?
  • Is Christ's payment sufficient to keep you acceptable to God for the rest of your life and beyond?
  • The approval addict fears rejection
  • God's solution to the fear of rejection is based on Christ's payment for our sins
  • Through this payment we receive forgiveness, reconciliation and total acceptance
  • Reconciliation means that enemies have now become friends
  • Col 1:21-22
  • Pam – committed adultery – confessed her sin to God and to her husband and had been forgiven
  • Yet she still could not forgive herself
  • This is because she was looking at her performance
  • But God doesn't base his love and acceptance on our performance
  • God forgives all our sin
  • Col 2:13-15 – our sins are nailed to Jesus' cross
  • Satan's power to condemn us for sin has been taken away
  • Our acceptance in Christ is life-changing
  • It is not only a ticket to heaven, but the start of a new relationship with God
  • Justification is the teaching that explains the judicial facts of our forgiveness and righteousness in Christ
  • Reconciliation explains the relational aspect of our salvation
  • Romans 8:38-39
  • We are sealed in that relationship
  • Eph 1:13-14
  • What happens to our transgressions? - Ps 103:12
  • Why was Christ's blood shed? - Matt 26:28
  • What is God's promise? - John 3:16
  • What is the promise to one who knows and believes? - John 5:24
  • What do His sheep have? Will they perish? - John 10:27-28
  • Of what did the prophets bear witness? - Acts 10:43
  • What does belief do? - Acts 13:39
  • By what are we justified? - Rom 3:23-24
  • Who is blessed? - Romans 4:7
  • Through what are we reconciled? - Rom 5:10
  • Describe our relationship with God – Rom 8:15
  • Who can accuse us? - Rom 8:33
  • Of what is Paul convinced – Rom 8:38-39
  • Describe who we are in Christ – 2 Cor 5:17, 19, 21
  • How are we justified? What part do works play in justification? - Gal 2:16
  • On what basis did Abraham receive righteousness? - Gal 3:6
  • According to what do we receive forgiveness? - Eph 1:7
  • What would you have to do to receive forgiveness? - Heb 9:22
  • After forgiveness, what is to be our sacrifice for sin? - Heb 10:18
  • Who is the perfector of our faith? - Heb 12:2
  • Of what is Peter convinced? - 1 Pet 1:3-4
  • These verses show that we completely acceptable, and thjis is not based on our performance
  • When born again, our fleshly thought life still needs to be brought into alignment with our new reality
  • It may be painful to change the basis of our self-worth, but it will lead to true freedom and maturity in Christ
  • Our lives mean much more than what success or approval or our performance can bring
  • We can do nothing to add to Jesus' free gift of salvation
  • If we base our self-worth on others' approval, we are really saying our abuility to please others is of greater value than Christ's sacrifice
  • God intended for parents to model His character to our children
  • We grew up in family situations where this was expressed to varying extents
  • Some may have grown up in relatively healthy homes, while others may have experienced neglect, condemnation, or the deeper wounds of sexual abuse, physical abuse or abandonment
  • The greater the degree of dysfunction (poor modeling), the greater the potential for emotional, spiritual and relational wounds, and the harder it is to accept God's characteristics in our lives
  • We need new models – loving Christian friends who model God's love and grace
  • This may be through a small group or Bible study
  • God often shows us his love and affirmation through our relationships with others.
  • This helps us to get to know Him better
  • Healthy relationships are turned oputward rather than inward, encourage individuality rather than conformity, independence rather than emotional dependence
  • They point towards the Lord and pleasing him rather than toward pleasing one another
  • Emotionally dependent relationsips:
  • - frequent jealousy, possessiveness, exclusivity, others are a threatr
  • - prefers to spend time alone with this friend, and becomes frustrated when this doesn't happen
  • - becomes irrationally angry or depressed when the other withdraws slightly
  • - loses interestr in other friendships
  • - fantasizing about this person
  • - preoccupied by their appearance, personality, problems, interests
  • - unwilling to make plans that do not include this person
  • - unwilling to see the other's faults realistically
  • - becomes defensive about the relationship
  • - displays physical affection beyond what is appropriate for a friendship
  • - feels free to “speak for” the other
  • exhibits intimacy that makes others uncomfortable
  • My Father is very patient and kind
  • My Father is not envious, never boastful
  • My Father is not arrogant
  • My Father is never rude, nor is he self-seeking
  • My Father is not quick to take offense
  • My Father keeps no score of wrongs
  • My Father does not gloat over my sins
  • My Father knows no end to his trust
  • My Father is always hopeful and patient

Discussion Questions

  • Define reconciliation
  • What is wrong with saying, Thak you Lord, for accepting me when I am so unacceptable?
  • Whom does the Father love more, Jesus Christ, or you? - John 17:19-26, 20:17
  • Think about an instance of rejection. How would believing the truth have changed your response?